Pesquisa e Arquivos 
"OH WATERS, TEEM WITH MEDICINE TO KEEP MY BODY SAFE FROM HARM, SO THAT I MAY LONG SEE THE SUN."
- Rig Veda
Placebo // Too Many Friends (with Bret Easton Ellis) from Saman Kesh on Vimeo.
In this country, we are sent homewith lice—we trade it back and forthand learn to catch the bodies
in our nails, school nurses bent over usas if in tenderness, for we cannot seetheir faces, and they touch us
as would nuns, with clinical worship,and we on the plastic pewsof our child-sized sterile chairs, our feet
swinging just above the floor, our invisibleink on the shirts of our friends. We see our fathertaking drops of St. John’s Wort, his tongue
a meat field in the fence of his bad teeth,we find our mother writing letters to her sister:these feelings, she writes, they won’t go away,
and until we asked, we never knewthey had it in them to be so unhappy.Are we not enough? It’s a slow climb
to understanding, to the truththat we aren’t blessings on this earth,and likely we will break
much more than we can fix, and likelylove won’t save a mindfrom swinging downward, a bird
dipping to the water for a fishand plunging on, instead. Sothere was something we liked
about having the bugs—nightsspent with our heads wrappedin plastic bags, tea-tree oil and rosemary
darkening our hair, those rice-grain bodieswrithing in a small bowlof hot water … A monkey instinct,
to crave the sift of careful fingersacross your scalp, knowingyou are being cleaned, and all you have
to do is let. Our parents: year by year,we creep towards the unimaginable darknessof being without them. We think of them
when a Catherine wheel spinsin the midnight above our front porch,a starlike fire cycling around an empty center,
the cheering echo of a distant crowd …We think, oh god:I can speak only for myself.